RVing - Mom and the Bordello Museum

A few years after our Canadian trip, we decided one day to take Mom on a drive over to Idaho and maybe Western Montana. We had no idea where we would go when we got there, or what we would see, but we knew it would be an adventure. It always is!

You may have figured out some things about Mom from the previous story, but when I tell you she doesn’t get out much, trust me. She’s a devoutly religious woman who was raised in the "civilized" East, but moved out west to be near her youngest daughter. And let’s just say she is as clueless as mothers come, especially for the mother of a baby boomer daughter.

On this particular trip, we ended up in Wallace, Idaho, which was once home to a huge silver mining operation. Our first stop was at a mining museum. One thing about Mom, she must have been raised in a household where they had one of everything. As we toured the museum, she would comment “We used to have one of those.” Okay, so there were some pots and pans, and assorted paraphernalia that could be found in most homes, but I sure wasn’t familiar with most of that stuff. Then again, if it was used in a kitchen, I don't have a clue, anyway.

After the museum tour we headed for the railroad depot, which was the town’s information center. We browsed the brochures, heard the history of the depot, and then walked outside to enjoy the sunshine.

Hubby spotted the Bordello Museum across the street and decided to investigate. A few minutes later, Mom asked, “Where did Son go?” I pointed to the building he had entered. “Well, let’s go in there too,” Mom said. “Are you sure you want to go in there?” I asked her, knowing she was too much of a prude to have any patience with a former bordello. “Sure,” she said and took off across the street.

I figured she could read and knew where she was going, so I followed her in the back entrance and we started checking the displays to our left. As we looked at the various items, I noticed she didn’t say “We used to have one of those,” as often as in the previous museum, but she was interested and commented on some of the fans, sequined purses, dresses, etc. We looked at displays all across the back wall, all the way up the long side wall, and then across the front of the building.

And that’s when it happened. She suddenly spotted the stairway going up and the price list posted beside it. She shrieked in a horrified voice that would have emptied the place of any remaining ghosts, “We’re in a bawdy house!” I said, “Well yes, didn’t you know that?” She turned to me and screamed accusingly, “You brought me to a bawdy house!”

I brought her? If I remembered correctly, this was her idea.

After the people working in the museum recovered from their initial hearing loss after her hysterical screech, they rushed up to try and tell her it was no longer a bawdy house, it was now a museum. She was having none of it. She indignantly stomped back through the museum to the back door and out on the street, accusing me of leading her astray. I reminded her that it was her idea to go in, not mine, but she was too furious to listen. She said she had no idea what the word “bordello” meant, and I should have known she wouldn’t know.

But that was nothing to what she had to say to her son when he finally wandered out. I guess he stood around inside for awhile trying to pretend SHE was not with HIM before he finally came out. Exiting the building was a bad idea anyway with his Mom snorting and pawing the dirt outside like a bull that’s spotted a waving red cape.

We took her antique shopping afterwards to calm her down and get her mind off the indecent experience she had been subjected to by us. She’s 91 now and will still go places with us in the car, but I’m betting she carries a dictionary in her purse to check out any unfamiliar words on buildings we try to take her in. She’s become extremely cautious.

We have offered from time to time to take her to the buffet at the Indian Casino near where she lives, but she won’t hear of it because people gamble there. She won’t even go to the senior center because people play cards there. We’ve explained that the casino buffet is next to the entrance, and we’ll lead her in so she can close her eyes and won’t have to see all the sin and corruption going on. However, even though she’s never met a buffet she doesn’t absolutely adore, she still refuses to go when we visit her. I’m afraid we’ve led her astray one time too many, even though that was unintentional.

She’ll never be convinced that we aren’t trying to corrupt her in her old age. And I’ve vowed to hubby never to let her know about the time she unintentionally let alcohol touch her lips. Her favorite saying: "Lips that touch liquor will never touch mine." Still, she ate beef cooked in burgundy at the Blue Bayou Restaurant in Disneyland without knowing it (everything was cooked in wine, and she didn't know what the words meant), and rolls at my house made with beer instead of yeast (which I didn’t think about until after I served them). She loved them and scarffed down a couple while I was still putting food on the table. Oops, too late to save her from that horrible sin. Well, no need to bring it up now!

Next time, some of our goof-ups on the road that make good campfire stories now that they’re in the past.